Ahoy! EASTER WEEKEND! YAY!
Well, I've "risen again" to answer some of your prayers in print! So, let's roll the stone away and get down to some answerin', forgivin' and resurrectin'!
Prayer #1:
Hugh Brickman, age 38, Portland, OR
"Dear Lord, please answer me why good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people? I struggle with this in my own life as I see person after person bypass me on the way up the corporate ladder by evil means and dishonest practices. Please help me find peace and fulfillment..."
Hey! It's Hugh "munguss" Brickman! Great to hear from you.
Yeah, sorry about letting Todd Nussbaum take that promotion over you, but, that presentation he did for the bigwigs at Pepsi certainly pushed his stock higher. Not that your Powerpoint presentation wasn't well-done, but, let's face it - Todd's use of high-energy music bumps, fog machine and corporate buzzwords really made the presentation 'sing'. Still....I can understand your frustration. I'm still not happy with him beating his wife last year. Not cool! (incidentally, I'm making sure she gets QUITE the settlement. So, you'll be pleased to note that his big promotion bonus won't be lining his pocketbook! She'll be getting it all!)
Quick thing about the good things happening to bad people and vicey-versey: Things tend to even out. What can I tell ya'? Also, methinks a change of industry might do you some good. I'll open up a window next week for you that you can try out. See how that stirs the drink. Just remember that "pre-stressed asbestos" isn't as dangerous as it sounds. It can be quite lucrative.
Go get 'em slugger!
Prayer #2:
Heather Caruthers, Age 17, San Diego, Ca
"OMG! WhatEVER! I'm so jealous that, like, you totally gave Taylor and Brandi both new cars for their birthday! Like, what am I supposed to do? I don't even LIKE Taylor. She's a total bee-atch and Brandi, is, like, totally a slut. And, Rumer was totally ripping on them, like, two days ago, but now, like, she's all, like, "oooh, I'm your best friend, Brandi...let's hang out and do stuff...." all because of this stupid idiot car she got. And Taylor's boyfriend, Jacob, is, like totally not hot, but, thinks he's all that and he totally looks like a pug dog or something...ha! LOL! LMFAO! But, now, he's all "hey, Tay, wassup?", like, he wasn't going to totally break up with her or anything, like, three fucking days ago anyway, but, now, she's got this stupid car, so, he's all into her now...this is SO stupid! AAAAGH! Whatever....I think I'm just going to hang out with Brittany at the game."
Hm. Sober counsel, indeed, Heather. You're wise to seek Brittany's company. Unlike Taylor and Brandi, her mode of transportation is a bike. LOL!
As for Rumer, there are only so many times I require her to stop back-talking her friends. Just throwing this out there - NOT OFFICIAL - but, she'll probably need to visit her doctor in the next month or two just to 'be safe', if she doesn't stop.
Taylor deserves the car, Heather. She got a C+ average and that's what her parents required of her. That's the contract they signed and a parent needs to be consistent. Keep in mind, a C-average was quite a jump from her 1.74 GPA!
Brandi's family is just loaded with cash. What can I tell you? Her dad is a lawyer and her mom is a doctor. Brandi gets a car because her parents earned it.
If there's one thing you'll learn in the country you live in - money is not evil. I know it may be a 100% obvious, blatantly clear contradiction to every single, solitary possible word, phrase or idea I stated in the Bible, but, listen to your political leaders....they know better. It's capitalism that moves human souls to do good work! So, go out and make some money and you, too, can get that car! LMFAO!
Peace. Out.
